Let's start from the beginning

I have thought about it for several months now to start a blog about our journey with our son, Jacob. What better day then today to start? I felt this would be the best way to keep our family and friends up to date on Jacob's life and our journey with our son. As the weeks go by, I feel it is almost impossible to keep everyone updated on the happenings of Jacob, so I hope you find this a great way to stay in the loop. And one thing to note - I am not the most grammatically correct person so don't judge my writing. I am a math person, not a literature person. So here it is..

 Jacob was born on May 10, 2014. Our story with our son started way before that time though. Back in January during our 20 week gender scan the doctor noted what was to be a club foot on the ultrasound. We were to return in 4 weeks for a follow up ultrasound. At our 24 week scan the doctor felt that there was still indication that our son may have a club foot. We were referred to Akron Children's Maternal Fetal Medicine. We were a bit nervous about the thought of the possible diagnosis, but looking back, a club foot would have been a godsend. We met with the MFM doctor mid-February for an ultrasound. During this visit we were relieved to find out that Jacob did not have a clubfoot, but left way more worried than when we originally arrived at their office. During the ultrasound the doctor noticed what looked like several brain abnormalities. We were referred to Akron Children's main campus for a follow up ultrasound.

The next week was misery as we waited for our appointment day to arrive. Finally the day came during late February to have yet another ultrasound, but this time at Akron's main campus for MFM. During the ultrasound we were nervous as there was not a lot of discussion that went on between Shawn and I, and the nurse. When the doctor came in to review the images there were 3 main areas of the brain she was concerned about. At this point I think our hearts sank and it felt as if someone had knocked the wind right out of me. How could this be happening? How could something be wrong? I have done everything by the book, and then some, during this pregnancy up to this point. We were asked to sit down and meet with their palliative care team as we awaited an MRI that they set up for us that afternoon. That morning was a bit of a blur sitting down with palliative care. Right when they walked in to the room they handed us a box of Kleenex and I knew this was not going to be good. They discussed their purpose, services they provide, and what their role would be during this "journey"  with our unborn son. Later that day I had the fetal MRI. We were to meet a week later with a variety of doctors to discuss the results. Again, the next week drug on as we awaited to hear the fate of our son.

The day finally came to meet with back at Akron Childrens MFM to discuss Jacob's MRI. It was a bit overwhelming as Shawn and I walked in to the conference room. There was the neurologist, neonatologist, perinatologist, nurse, social worker, and palliative care team. I never knew what half of these people even did before that day. The neurologist got right to the point and showed us the scans of Jacob's brain. There is one image I think has been burned into my head permanently from that day. He showed us a picture of Jacob's brain alongside a typical fetus brain. Nearly 40% of Jacob's brain had not grown and was essentially missing. He went on to explain the areas effected and what the potential outcomes would be - not able to walk, talk, see, hear, think, etc. It was an endless list of horrible possibilities. Shawn and I walked out of that meeting in utter shock and disbelief. A piece of my heart died that day hearing those results.

The following weeks were filled with countless doctor appointments and tests trying to help them find a cause for this. They all resulted in no answers. We decided to get a second opinion at The Ohio State University hoping to receive different news. Unfortunately, this was not the case. They too agreed that this was a rare case they had not seen before and were unable to figure out what the cause might have been. this all just did not make sense to Shawn and I, just surreal. It became harder each week to carry on at work and in the public as people commented and held conversations about how wonderful it will be to have another child, another boy, a playmate for our older son. I would carry on with a smile going along with the conversations just knowing in the back of my mind that life was going to be so much different than that.

Fast forward to 35 weeks. We had a follow up MRI. To everyone's  surprise, Jacob's brain had grown and almost completely filled the skull. The neurologist at this point had a different tune in his voice and felt Jacob may live a somewhat normal life. Shawn and I were a bit guarded with this prediction though knowing what had happened earlier in the development of his brain. At 36 weeks the MFM doctor noticed that Jacob's overall growth had slowed tremendously, especially his head circumference. She stated that I now had IUGR, inter uterine growth restriction. This basically means that the necessary nutrients were not being passed along to Jacob through the umbilical cord. Again, another curve ball thrown our way. When we met with the doctor the following week, at 37 weeks, she noticed the same trend and urged delivery to be induced that weekend. If not, there was a good chance that Jacob would not survive the remaining 3 weeks in utero.

At exactly 37 weeks I was admitted to the hospital for induction. To spare all the details, it was a crazy and chaotic morning and afternoon with several major decisions that needed to be made. Finally in the evening it was decided that I would need to have a c-section. Jacob Alexander was finally born at 8:15pm at 4lbs. 9 oz. and 17 inches long. He was breathing on his own and was a little fighter. Shawn and I were thrilled that Jacob was alive and well, and that this phase of the journey was finally over.